“God was giving me exactly what I asked for…”

Like many young professionals, I got caught up in comparing myself to others. I was looking for jobs and praying for opportunities that “sounded” like what a Stanford student ought to be doing upon graduating. My father had convinced me to apply to Google, and I had convinced myself that it was a brilliant idea. I invested my heart and soul into the idea of getting a job on their People Operations team. I wanted to work there for a few years, save up, and then leave the company to finally pursue my music career. But unfortunately, after 4 interviews, several phone calls, and intensive resume and interview prep, I didn’t get the job. Google does not provide any information concerning the decision making process. So I walked away having learned “nothing” about myself or the factors that played into my rejection. For someone like me, who is always looking for a learning opportunity, that simple truth ate me alive. I prayed that God would show me why. What was so wrong about me that I could not get a job at Google? Why would I make it to the final round to not be offered the position?

I eventually took another job at Stanford. One day I woke up with a friend on my mind, I remembered that she had just started working for Google. So I texted her to check in and see how she was doing. I didn’t get a response, but I didn’t think twice about it. After work that same day, I went home and decided to go to bed early. I was exhausted. I put on my pajamas and sunk into my bed at5:30pm. But just as I did, something told me to get up, put on my clothes, and go to Town and Country to get some ice cream. I got there and walked into my favorite local ice cream shop, Tin Pot, to order a scoop. It turns out that they ran out of my one and only favorite flavor. So I walked out frustrated, wondering why I had convinced myself to get out of bed to just be disappointed. I walked next door to CVS to find the next best thing: Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, but it turns out that they had every other Ben and Jerry’s flavor besides that one! So I stormed out again, trying to not lose my patience, and as I walked angrily through the automatic doors, there my friend stood, fumbling over some groceries. She and I laughed hysterically, and it became clear that I was meant to be there at that very moment. We sat down at Cold Stone (a fair alternative) and talked about her new job.

It became clear over the course of the conversation that she had the very same job I had applied for. I immediately got quiet when I realized this, and I asked God, “Why would you show this to me?” As I listened to her speak, I realized that the work environment was not conducive to the things God has for me in this season. There is not a good work/life balance. There are a number of incentives to make you work late, work as you commute, work at home in the evenings, and come into work on weekends. My friend said that her job took away her drive and her desire to even see other human beings. It was clear that God was giving me exactly what I asked for: the reasons why I didn’t get the job. It simply wasn’t for me.

I currently am in a work environment where my boss respects my time, encourages me to pursue my music, and speaks life into what I am doing both in and outside of the workplace. She is a believer too, and it is a wonderful feeling to know that she and I can pray for one another. The nature of my current position is extremely fulfilling, as I work with students majoring in the same program that I majored in as an undergraduate. Both the content and the environment for the work I do are perfect fits for the season I am in. Though I never will hear a Google Rep list the reasons why I didn’t get selected, I have all the justification I need to know that I am exactly where I supposed to be.

-Jessica, Class of 2014